Big Cat

My wife works in the veterinary field and has a heart for all animals. Its no surprise that we have a vast amount of pets. I have a dog, 2 cats, and 3 fish. Oh yeah, we live in an apartment. One of the cats is Ink Blot.Anyone who knows me knows that I rename anyone and everything, and even I'm not too sure why. I call Ink, Big Cat. I call him that for 2 reasons, he's the larger of 2 cats, and he's a fatty. His stomach almost drags on the floor when he's walking. Big Cat is a tuxedo cat, and he's so big that his tuxedo looks too big for him. He weighs 20 pounds, and a recent visit to the vet showed that he had gained 2 pounds. Besides being a fatty, he is probably the most annoying cat there is. Big Cat loves attention, and when he isn't getting it he will surely jump his fat, heavy self on your lap. When you do start petting him, his purring sounds like a motor boat. When you push him away, like a boomerang, he comes right back. At night, we have to shut him out of the bedroom. That's because he was trying to lay on mine and my wife chest, nearly crushing all of our ribs, and worst of all, I was losing sleep. Shutting him out of the room doesn't matter, he still lays by the door and meows all night long.Big Cats meowing is ridiculous. He will meow until you put food in his bowl. I'm not saying once or twice he'll meow, he will go for hours straight. I guess that's what obese cats have to do to feed their fattness. One last thing that he'll do that's annoying is that when you clean his litter box, he will then go to the bathroom. I guess fatty can't poop in a dirty pan!So I hope I have painted a bad enough picture for everyone to realize what I go through on a daily basis. There should be a fundraiser set up for my sake. The only question I have is, does anybody need a cat?